Trial by fire?

I received my schedule, and I'm on call in the MICU my first night! Yikes! Since I'm familiar with the computer system and the hospital, it does make sense in a way to have me be the one covering the sickest patients in the hospital instead of one of my new co-interns who doesn't know how to put in computer orders. Perhaps it's best for the program, but I'm not sure if it's best for me and the heartburn I've been having all week.

Here's a selection of responses I've received since finding out about the MICU:

That means the program trusts you! The program coordinator swore up and down that I hadn't done anything to offend her. If the program does trust me, that's great and everything, but I'm not sure what I've done to earn that trust. Remember that I'm interested in primary care. I've never done a MICU rotation, so I'm not exactly reading critical care textbooks in my free time.

Isn't it better to start in the unit to get it out of the way? Well, that's one way of thinking about it, but I know they're thinking, "Better her than me!"

Don't worry the unit nurses are so good. They'll tell you what to do! I hope so because I won't know what to do!

Part of me is excited to start. I definitely didn't want to start on something easy because after all this anticipation I'm ready to dive in with both feet. However, now forced to dive in with both feet, the wading pool (i.e. anything but MICU) looks pretty darn good.

I have to say that my program has done a great job with orientation. A lot of the annoying regulatory paperwork was done online, and we spent a good deal of time meeting each other. We had workshops discussing how to cope with the stresses of intern year, and we practiced procedures on models and cadavers.

A few people commented on how much nicer this week was than med school orientation. People are really interested in getting to know each other, and we have a lot in common. Not only are we all new doctors and interested in internal medicine but we were all drawn to this particular program. I dished with some people over dinner about their thoughts on other programs, and I was surprised that we had the same impressions.

I did purchase a critical care textbook this weekend, but I honestly have so many errands to run this weekend before I start living in the hospital that I doubt I'll get much past the first few pages. I'm honestly scared about Monday. The 8-hour or less orientation days have been exhausting me so my first 30-hour shift will be a bit of a shock to the system. *Taking a deep breath* However, I know that I'll have a lot of support. That's what I love about my program--the emphasis on teamwork. So, wish me luck!

Emotions of Intern Orientation

need to get to sleep because lots more orientation early tomorrow morning, but here's a little bit of what i've been feeling.

exhausting. we had a few visits from the lawyers letting us know how to keep the hospital and ourselves from getting sued, the psychiatrists to let us know that at least 30% of us will become depressed, and a representative from every department you can think of (interpreter services, infection control, parking, security). plus, there were lots of lines to get ID badges, TB tests, fingerprinting (!), pagers, etc. this is all balanced out by many social gatherings to meet the department and each other. however, i've been waking up at 11 am for the last two months, and i'm not used to paying attention to anything or anyone for eight hours a day. is it bad that i'm tired and chugging coffee already?

exciting. i got a little misty eyed when i got my name badge with "MD" written at the end. plus, all of my co-interns seem super cool and down to earth ... so far.

scary. our department chairman said that we are basically the face of the medicine department as we are the primary inpatient caregivers. a visit from the medical student clerkship director reminded us that we are an important part of the teaching apparatus. i recall that my intern on each clerkship was a crucial determinant of whether i had a good learning experience. oh, and now i have to evaluate and grade medical students when i was one just a few weeks ago.

currently reading: the brochures comparing different health and retirement plans. aiya!