Preparing for worst case scenarios

Sorry for the little break. I was a little turned off from writing since my last entry was linked to by some pro-life Canadians. I was angry that some of my words seemed to be taken out of context, but my husband told me he's not surprised because I made abortion sound really gross. Oh well, I'll live and learn. Exciting stuff is happening in my life, so there's lots to write about.

What's my biggest fear about the start of internship? Where to start? ;) Okay, the one that scares me the most is that someone will stop breathing or collapse in front of me and I won't know what to do. You never think you'll need to use CPR, but I was the first doctor-like person to arrive at two codes during my subinternship. Apparently the residency people know about my biggest fear, and maybe that's why they send us to Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS) training right before we start. Our instructor says he loves teaching the two-day course to new interns because we actually pay attention. It was actually a wonderfully practical course with them drilling in the essential steps, medications, and dosages into our brains. We ran through all their scenarios at least two or three times. (What if the heart rhythm is slow but no symptoms? What if the rhythm is fast but there's no pulse? What if you're the only one there? What if it's a child under eight years old?)

I thought that ACLS training was going to be a pain in the butt, especially since it required me to be back in Boston almost a week before hospital orientation. However, I was especially grateful when a few of my new co-interns and I walked into a restaurant this weekend, and a woman had passed out. While we were still too shy to yell, "I'm a doctor," we asked all the right questions. The American Heart Association has come up with some mnemonics that sound idiotic but are pretty helpful if/when you panic. The restaurant people probably thought we were nosy rubberneckers, but we didn't proceed to our table until we were satisfied that she was okay.

In my free time, I feel as if I'm preparing for the end of my life. My friends who are residents are fond of saying, "Are you ready for the worst year of your life?" or "You're not going to have time for that next year!" While I'd like to think that I'll still have time to see my friends and watch So You Think You Can Dance, I am getting my affairs in order. I paid my bills and got my haircut. My husband and I went on a day-long date walking around our beautiful city and splurging on some wonderful meals, and I went out for a night with the girls.

I know my life is going to change in a big way soon. I don't know how big, and I hope to be able to control in some way how much things will be different. We'll see.

This coming week: A full five days of hospital and program orientation plus social events to meet my whole intern class!

Currently reading: Barack Obama's The Audacity of Hope and Mark Bittman's The Minimalist Cooks at Home. I think I'm in love!